Eccentric Accessorizer Pillows

The foil hat keeps them from reading my mind. The foil scarf and gloves really complete the ensemble, though.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

Elton John

Hedgehog living in filing cabinet.

Strange man has a nose monocle.

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

Buider, "How crazy do you want this paving, mad,or completely wacko?"

Toe-Tickling Machine

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

"Love the exposed chessboard."

'It's from my strange-but-not-as-strange-as-I-am-now period.'

Flatware Follies.

Rich Man with Lawn Mower followed by Maid with Hoover.

'An optician was having a closing down sale...I got the last pair!'

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

"New York is a place of free spirits."

If you keep sitting on your paintings, you're going to become an impressionist!

"And, finally, I can put this charming toy plane on the dress because I am Ungaro."

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

'No way you're getting in here with THAT mustache!'

"Look what I found. You wouldn't believe the things that people throw out."

"It all started when we adopted a highway."

'I got it at a sale of slightly irregular clocks.'

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?"

He had gobs of money and a trophy wife...

Off the wall financial adviser.

Now there's something you don't see every day.

Eccentrically dressed husband says to quiet, timid looking wife: 'Now, don't embarrass me!'