Eccentric Straw Collector Pillows

"This party was really dragging before Crazy Straw showed up."

Mixed Doubles.

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

Cow's straw

Baloneystini

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

'It's all very well you saying I should paint something else, but what?'

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

Leaking backpack.

"You have such beautiful eyes."

Money Snowglobe

Who Typexed out the grass?

They've come a long way since they started in his parents' garage.

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

Giraffe's Ice-cream.

"You should have said you only wanted a trim. . . I'd have sent you to the barber next door."

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"

'I'm sorry Rex, but since getting this new stick for Christmas, I have no further need for you.'

Hissy-fits for sale.

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

"The applications are limitless."

Steven Tyler's toothbrush.

'Made your point.'

"Well I thought it was obvious I would be charging a finders fee"

Valentines for Things

'Hey, wait a minute †you're not a dolphin!'

"You're getting too much fiber."

The Carrot and Stick.