Eccentric Straw Collector T-Shirts

Mixed Doubles.

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

Cow's straw

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Baloneystini

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

Leaking backpack.

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

'It's all very well you saying I should paint something else, but what?'

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

"You have such beautiful eyes."

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

Who Typexed out the grass?

'I'm sorry Rex, but since getting this new stick for Christmas, I have no further need for you.'

Giraffe's Ice-cream.

Money Snowglobe

"You should have said you only wanted a trim. . . I'd have sent you to the barber next door."

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"

Hissy-fits for sale.

"The applications are limitless."

Steven Tyler's toothbrush.

'Made your point.'

'Hey, wait a minute †you're not a dolphin!'

"Well I thought it was obvious I would be charging a finders fee"

"You're getting too much fiber."

Valentines for Things

The Carrot and Stick.

'Buy you new equipment? Are you kidding? Our budget is already so tight that we have a kazooist because we can't afford an organ.'