Eccentric Job Collector Gifts

"I'm an elephant podiatrist-what do you do?"

My Spam Sketchbook

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Cat hunting in a cuckoo clock.

Hedgehog living in filing cabinet.

'It's all very well you saying I should paint something else, but what?'

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

Pianist.

Migrating Cuckoo Clock

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

Flatware Follies.

Stuffed animal head falls on man.

Sketchy Neighborhood

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

Damien Hirst

"New York is a place of free spirits."

"This party was really dragging before Crazy Straw showed up."

'Why,yes-I DO have a name plate on my desk...

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

"I think we can take him off the shortlist."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?"

"Your job will be to furnish the office with fresh fish on a daily basis."

Green Bottles Sought for Wall Experiment.

Clock and bird

101 uses of a dead cat: wall decoration

Fred brings home one too many cute refrigerator magnets.

'I found out what makes him tick, but he still won't tock.'

Jobs that will make you really lonely...

'At the tone, the time will be 11:30.'

Van Winkle Returns His Clock

Job description

They're museum quality!"

'WOW! They appointed me an 'O.F.W.A.W.M.S. Manager'... wait a minute... what the... that means 'Old Fart Without Any Worth Mentioning Sales'??!!"