Eccentric Emulation Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

"Fresh pepper?"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Imagine

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Don't you ever knock?'

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'Wow - My kind of man.'

"Who are These People?"

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'I know, but he's a genius.'

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

Human and alien exchange sex toys.

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

"You there - shoo!"

'The Polite Lions' - a new sim game - "We've already got chairs, thank you."

'To hell with the rules.'

Tom Waits.

"Come at me, Bro!"

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."

Man talking to a tree.

Clown escaping a shipwreck on an inflatable unicycle.

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

The Water Diviner