Eccentric Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

"She was a good turtle."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

Trappist Monk Discord

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'What does it say, Dad?'

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

'What's the fist thing you're going to think of when your brain is fully formed?'

Clone Factory

"As I understand, we stop refugees making dangerous journeys to a safe countey and offer them safe passage to a dangerous one..."

Trump Tariffs

"Inactivists"

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

Pokemon Get Lost

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

"Oh, just the usual here, occupying Wall Street."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

Prescription Drugs '96.

Vocabulary Glossary for Libya

"Honey, come quick! I think I just bought Greece on Ebay!"