Edgy Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"Look, this is my favorite character...Tia Carmela."

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'If I believed in aptitude tests I'd still be washing cars in Accrington,.'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

Crime in bookshop

"Dad, my web toon characters can't be normal! They have to be stereotyped crazies who are totally abnormal!"

Men Working Things Out

'Remember, repeated failure... is no guarantee of eventual success!'

"Wow! Check out the moon."

Devil tattoo.

"Oh c'mon, Phil. Everyone knows we only stay together for the giant tortoise."

"You're a bureaucrat, Ed. What do you mean you hate paperwork?"

'Money can't buy happiness, Sims, so instead of a raise, I'm giving you a bottle of prozac.'

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'

'Ever since we converted the church into a jail, everyone is finding Jesus.'

"Dear Author: Thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to reject your work."

Expensive health care

'Young lady, stop talking to your dad in such a disrespectful way! After all he's a man with degrees and can fill in his unemployment benefit application in five different languages!'

A panhandler with a sign that reads "From each according to his ability…. To each according to his need."

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

Jimmy Mussolini With "Leon""Precious I cannot be. One more allusion to Gilgamesh and I'll trash out. I make mistakes, just like you, every day. This may be one of them. I'll take the money and walk."

Universidad

"Well, instead of discussing the book we could discuss why none of us had time to read it."

"Out of my way! I'm late for that lecture on 'The Importance of Relaxation'!!!"

'Sorry, but sorting through garbage bins for food is pretty much what the future holds for you...'

Adult Magician

Florist - Dead Plants 1/2 Price!

'It appears that he was given payback by his trophies.'

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

Dr Rimbone suffered terribly from 'Dentist's Block'.

Workaholics Anonymous Meeting.

"I was married to my job for years, and now, all of a sudden, I'm paying ALIMONY to it!"