Edgy Humor Fan Gifts

New edict: Our scones may help reduce the risk of heart attack. May. May. Same as may not. Our coffee may cause immortality.

"So far, you sold your work to some good magazines but I', looking for a well experienced cartoonist. Come back as soon as you have at least three death threats."

"Awesome, dude! A little of that blood in our systems and we'll be high for a week!"

Devil tattoo.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

Introducing...Anagraman.

Trump Poutine

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'Check out the old dude.'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."