Edgy Humor Lover Gifts

Sesame Street's Short-Lived Safe Word of the Day Segment.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"You left this on our ship."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Look! No hands!"

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

Astral Projection

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

The Hammer

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

'Can I have flies with that'

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

He wanted a different one.

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"You are still here."

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

Sir Isaac Newton wondered how he couldexplain this! (Pineapple)

Litter Tray Stonehenge