Eavesdropping Humor Lover Pillows

'Now he's saying:'stop shouting at me, darling, or the children might hear'!'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Police Feline Unit

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"His first out-of-body experience."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Selling lemon latt�

Do Not Resuscitate

Cariactures

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Dog Walking Services

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Faster, Georges, faster!