Humor Enjoyer Pillows

X-tra Large Pipe Cleaners.

"'T' vicar?"

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

"I don't know whether to be mad because you want to disallow my trip to the lake, or flattered because you think there was something fishy about it."

Ear Doctor.

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

"I'm sorry, Dad, but I can't accept losing like a man."

"Then my wife asked if the dress made her look fat....and like an idiot, I answered!"

"Can't you see I'm busy? Quit humaning me."

Scenic View offers mountain with cherry on top.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Larry's used art

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Grace For Flies

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Police Feline Unit

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Why do they do that?"