Joke Enjoyer Pillows

If I explain the pie in the face to you, it won't be funny anymore.

I reserve the right to bare arms."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"The hyenas started it."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

What's an Imax cave?

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Eat me"

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

Vegetarian Birds

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Clown's Comedy Fart.

Doggone

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Your lobster was off!

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'