Joke Enjoyer Pillows

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

Doggone

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"Eat me"

Your lobster was off!

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Vegetarian Birds

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'