Earthy Enthusiast Gifts

'I struck oil.'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"I brought you coffee. Sorry it’s cold."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"I've been working on this project non-stop, twenty four-six!"

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Sloth traffic jam.

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

'Junior is just a little confused.'

'I AM a three-toed sloth, but cartoonists always draw us with two toes.'

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

"If 'Slothra' takes any longer climbing to the top I'll have to land and refuel again."

A man emerges from a tree stump

Sloth Studios - "Lights! camera! inaction!"

Honey I'm Home

Homer

"Come at me, Bro!"

"Geoffrey's new year resolution was to give up self-respect."

'V. K. Duvine and Prodigal Son (if he comes back)

"No one quite knew what Bob did to earn a crust...rumour had it he was a biologist...with a special interest in sloths!"

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

The Tedious Adventures of Mr. Sloth...

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

Still Stuck in Phase I of Meaningful Use...