Everest Enthusiast Gifts

"Yes, it's big, but we've got bigger mountains to climb!"

I had a dream about climbing Everest. - 'Did you reach the summit?' - 'No, I got halfway up and then clung to a rock.' - 'I see. Then what?' - 'Then my sherpa said that I was too heavy to carry any further.' - 'Figures'

"I guess it's called Everest because it seems you're crawling up it forever."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Apples for sale

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"I love you too, big guy."

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

Use your imagination.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

God's Subcontractors

Evolution Exam Results.

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"I think we may be related!"

The eco club is starting a locavore movement here at school. "Loco" what? Eating fresh food, grown locally. So? So everyone eats healthier and uses less energy. Um � Ok. I'll tell my mom. Who are those people. Locobores.

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

"Where are you going? I said we need to talk."

'That's Oog -- he got a haircut and a job.'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

I told you we were late!

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

"Are we there yet?"