Early Riser Humor Pillows

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

"Your 5 A.M. is here."

"You've got to be kidding. It's freaking noon!!"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Rapunzel in the Morning

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

French Early Bird

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

Have you got your make up on yet?

"I'm supposed to wake Jasper up at sunrise, but which pile of snow is he asleep under?"

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

Early Bird Gets the Worm/Night Owl Does the Worm

1,572 Performances.

'That morning, nature got to work early...'

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

Waking Up With Rooster.

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

'You see, you don't really need a cigarette to wake up in the morning.'

"It's time to wake up!"

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

Sleepwalking to work.

Early Night Club

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

Rooster

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

"Coffee?! After 20 minutes of waiting, I'm FULLY awake without one."