Early Riser's Joke Pillows

Woman approaches a clock with a tick and flea killer.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

French Early Bird

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

Have you got your make up on yet?

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

And if he wants to keep his job, the early bird better get me a coffee, too.

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

Early Bird Gets the Worm/Night Owl Does the Worm

1,572 Performances.

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

'That morning, nature got to work early...'

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

Waking Up With Rooster.

'You see, you don't really need a cigarette to wake up in the morning.'

"It's time to wake up!"

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

Sleepwalking to work.

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

Early Night Club

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

"Coffee?! After 20 minutes of waiting, I'm FULLY awake without one."

Rooster

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

"What's the occasion?"

"Aaah, early morning, my favourite part of the day..."

"I have to get up for school early and my alarm clock is broken."