Early Riser With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

"Can I get a wake-up call for 6 a.m., and then a dire warning at 7:15?"

'Say, I wonder if anyone wants to sleep in'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Have you got your make up on yet?

And if he wants to keep his job, the early bird better get me a coffee, too.

French Early Bird

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

1,572 Performances.

Early Bird Gets the Worm/Night Owl Does the Worm

Vampire on a plane

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

"It's time to wake up!"

'You see, you don't really need a cigarette to wake up in the morning.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

Time management office worker

Sleepwalking to work.

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

"Coffee?! After 20 minutes of waiting, I'm FULLY awake without one."

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Rooster

"What's the occasion?"

'I've got to wake up extra early tomorrow morning. Any clue how to set this thing?'