Early Riser's Joke Gifts

Woman approaches a clock with a tick and flea killer.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

Have you got your make up on yet?

French Early Bird

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

Early Bird Gets the Worm/Night Owl Does the Worm

'That morning, nature got to work early...'

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

1,572 Performances.

Waking Up With Rooster.

"It's time to wake up!"

'You see, you don't really need a cigarette to wake up in the morning.'

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

Sleepwalking to work.

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

Early Night Club

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

Rooster

"Coffee?! After 20 minutes of waiting, I'm FULLY awake without one."

"What's the occasion?"

'Come on, you heard the rooster: It means it's bedtime for you!'

"Aaah, early morning, my favourite part of the day..."

"I have to get up for school early and my alarm clock is broken."