Early Bird Humor Pillows

"I'm afraid sir wasn't early enough for the worm."

Future garbage truck driver.

''What's in the bag, lady?''

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

Toast: the high energy food

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

New York Scatological Society

'Take me to your feeder,'

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Hey, it's 5 a.m. somewhere, am I right?"

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"Mine is a dairy farmer: He's up way before dawn every day..."

"Your boss wants you in early for WHAT?"

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

"Well, that backfired."

A couple of birds out on the town.

Hoody Woodpecker.

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

"And if he wants to keep his job, the early bird better get me a coffee, too."

"You should have been here at eight o'clock."

'Good morning!'

'We'd like you to continue with your 6 am appointments until we find out what's making you tired!'

Come on sun! I know you can do it!

"Yeah, mom. Ed's up before sunrise to fix the sink. So here I stand at the crack of dawn."

'I take it you're not afraid of early hours.'

'Would you like to book an early morning call?'

"It looks as though it's going to be one of those days!"

Artist Hazards

"I like getting to work on time. I just wish someone was here to appreciate it."

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"