Ear Wiggler Gifts

Wake up with Mad Lizzie.

'Everything's a tradeoff - now that I can walk upright, I can't wiggle my ears any more.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Batman's Baby

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'Come on, come on! Bite! Oh, man... He's looking right at it!!'

Overworked

The Communicator

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

'I put lint tape all over his onesie so that, as he crawls around, he picks up the dog hair.'

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

You want tech support. This is mockery and belittlement.

'Sorry Mum, but the silly haircut kind of ruins my body builder image...'

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

"You wouldn't believe a little dog like that could create so much hair."

'I'm shedding.'

Ice Fishing

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'It's for you.'

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

'The government is DETERMINED to get rid of the 'target culture'...in fact we've committed to reducing targets by 68^ across 75% of the 76 most target driven departments within 96 days!'

Woman holding two phones together.

"Normally, we only issue one phone to new hires, but we're bringing you in at a busy time."

Identical twins, separated at birth. Both like to...chase cars, take naps, fetch sticks, bark, sit on furniture.

'Your kinect is broken.'

Multitasking.

Clown 'Laugh Top' Computer.

"Gotta go."