Hair Dabbler Gifts

'Sorry Mum, but the silly haircut kind of ruins my body builder image...'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

My first mistake.

DIY Shelves

'I'd like to get back to nature...'

Practice Pigs at the Gene Farm

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

'Plastic Surgery for Beginners'

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

'I was going to hunt for them. Then I thought hey - why not just clone new ones!'

"Less panting, and more painting!"

Two men talking in front of half finished driveway. 'Your wife did mention you'd had an economy drive.'

"Oh, don't get all defensive at me!"

'Yes, been meaning to call maintenance to put up that shelf for ages now...'

Driving school car has sign on the rear; 'How's my learning?'

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

"Done already?" "Yeah. I'd hate to get too sexy. I don't want to distract the airplanes flying overhead."

"He's finally installing our security system."

A knitter's in and out boxes

'The results came back negative. You won't ‘just die' if you don't get that new designer handbag.'

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

'It's just a first draft.'

"Do cows grunt?.... I must have milked a pig then."

Toy boat on a tsunami.

Genetically enhanced height

Visual Gag Cardigans Cars wearing Cardigans made for Cars

DANGER - hook and worm...!

"Do you want to do that hilarious thing where we read the itemized deductions and then say 'in bed'?"