Ear-wiggler Extraordinaire Gifts

Parts Shop. Catalog. Do you have universal joints? No, but I can wiggle my ears.

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'You catch me, you throw me back. You catch me, you throw me back. Dude, get a life!'

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

Overworked

The Communicator

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Out to lunch'.

'Now that's what I call soil conservation.'

Too Much Plastic.

"Hello? I`d like to report a missing person..."

Interpretive Dental Hygiene

'Hefner is thinking about the off season already.'

"You need to put on some weight if you want to keep your job!"

'I'm about to throw a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'Talk about tough days.'

"Yes dear, I know excessive mobile use is dangerous, that's not why I'm calling."

The Multi-tasking Snake Charmer

'Take a message...'

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

'Fishing's not a whole lot different than being a cowboy.'

"Right, 1:02 minutes to the corporate conference meeting."

Woman holding two phones together.

'I think the planners made a mistake.'

"Normally, we only issue one phone to new hires, but we're bringing you in at a busy time."

"Gotta go."

Multitasking.

'Where did you learn to sing in double-Dutch?'

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

'This one keeps dog time.'

"Actually, Mother, this is a bad time ..."

Wake up with Mad Lizzie.