Ear Health Enthusiast Gifts

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

Audiology!!

At the rock concert...

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

Older lady to husband surrounded by dogs: 'Still getting feedback from your hearing aid?'

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

'Fersteimer believes in strictly minding his own business.'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

"Eye irritation is quite common when Saturn and Jupiter are in this position. It's called conjunctivitis."

'You should have come to me sooner.'

'When you said you are a hammer-toe specialist . . .'

The herd of hearing.

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

Earplugs £2 a Pair

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

Flying Ear Specialist

Toothbrush Superhero.

"If you won't brush or floss could you at least run your tongue over your teeth once in a while?"

When Rock Bands Comply with Health and Safety Rules.

'Good morning, and welcome to the National Symposium on Inner Ear Disorders.'

'Make sure they fit straight'

"Mr. Van Gogh's mother let him cut off his whole ear, and you won't even let me get mine pierced."

'We're hopeful the built up pressure will subside, but right now he's still in glaucoma.'

"I just got these new glasses from my ophthalmologist – they come with tiny windshield wipers to clean the fog from my mask!"

'I'm sick of people always saying you're better than me!'

"Err hello, is this the listerning bank?"

'Reflexes Normal.'

"Lemme tell you how I feel about high blood pressure, Mr. McGuinn."

Geppetto taught Pinocchio the value of dental hygiene --- Although flossing continued to be a challenge.

'Good news, Little Orphan Annie. We've finally got some donated corneas for you.'

'Are you sure this conversation is confidential, doctor?'

"It doesn't actually work. But it's a great motivator for people to take better care of their teeth."

Old People Whisperer

'Stop whining. The burning means it's working.'