Ear Health Enthusiast Pillows

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

Audiology!!

At the rock concert...

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

Older lady to husband surrounded by dogs: 'Still getting feedback from your hearing aid?'

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

'Fersteimer believes in strictly minding his own business.'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

"Eye irritation is quite common when Saturn and Jupiter are in this position. It's called conjunctivitis."

'You should have come to me sooner.'

'When you said you are a hammer-toe specialist . . .'

The herd of hearing.

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

Earplugs £2 a Pair

Flying Ear Specialist

Toothbrush Superhero.

"If you won't brush or floss could you at least run your tongue over your teeth once in a while?"

When Rock Bands Comply with Health and Safety Rules.

"Mr. Van Gogh's mother let him cut off his whole ear, and you won't even let me get mine pierced."

'Make sure they fit straight'

"I just got these new glasses from my ophthalmologist – they come with tiny windshield wipers to clean the fog from my mask!"

'I'm sick of people always saying you're better than me!'

'Reflexes Normal.'

"I said, you have a suppository in your ear so I think I know where your hearing aid is."

"Lemme tell you how I feel about high blood pressure, Mr. McGuinn."

Old People Whisperer

"Err hello, is this the listerning bank?"

"It doesn't actually work. But it's a great motivator for people to take better care of their teeth."

'Are you sure this conversation is confidential, doctor?'

'Stop whining. The burning means it's working.'

'No, I don't think it's tinnitus.'