Ear Expert Gifts

The herd of hearing.

"My husband is a very good listener."

At the rock concert...

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"Tinnitus?"

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

'They want your underwear.'

Older lady to husband surrounded by dogs: 'Still getting feedback from your hearing aid?'

'No need to shout.'

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

'I think I'm going deaf - I can't hear the horse whisperer.'

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

Health news - hearing loss is irrelevant.

Manopause: The time when a man has more hair growing out of his nose and ears than he does his head.

"You're hearing is fine. It's the noise-canceling headphones that are the problem."

'Didn't I tell you to take up some hobby other than opera?'

Trust Your Doctor

Here's your problem. You have an iPod.

'Your hearing aid is on back order five months. In the meantime, pass these out to your family, friends and co-workers.'

'Sorry, what was that?'

'I keep hearing a buzzing in my ears.'

"I keep hearing this annoying buzzing noise!"

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

Ear specialist uses sign to communicate with hearing impaired patient.

'Oh! How nice! An espresso machine!'

'Got it! Next time, Mr. Blake, use a cotton swab to get at the earwax.'

"You say that you have a ringing in your ears?"

Flying Ear Specialist

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

Dr. Cohencho: Eyes, Ears, Nose & Throat