Ear Specialist Gifts

Disturbance of the Inner Ear

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"I stand corrected."

"Tinnitus?"

Some unusual family photographs decorate podiatrist's desk.

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

'They want your underwear.'

Older lady to husband surrounded by dogs: 'Still getting feedback from your hearing aid?'

'No need to shout.'

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

"Double vision! Are you sure?"

'You got here just in time - These shoes are killing you.'

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'I think I'm going deaf - I can't hear the horse whisperer.'

'You are pigeon toed.'

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

Health news - hearing loss is irrelevant.

Trust Your Doctor

"You're hearing is fine. It's the noise-canceling headphones that are the problem."

'Didn't I tell you to take up some hobby other than opera?'

Here's your problem. You have an iPod.

'Your hearing aid is on back order five months. In the meantime, pass these out to your family, friends and co-workers.'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

The herd of hearing.

"I keep hearing this annoying buzzing noise!"

'Sorry, what was that?'

Chiropodist is wearing a gas mask while treating a client.

'I keep hearing a buzzing in my ears.'

Dr. Cohencho: Eyes, Ears, Nose & Throat