E-novel Enthusiasts Gifts

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

Thomas Mann.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Television Readers.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Iris Murdoch

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

Two Generations of Readers

'It was a real scroller. I couldn't put down my screen.'

Books: Soon to be made into a major computer App.

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

My Literary Influences

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Editor.

'Is this your first book launch?'

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'