E-novel Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

Thomas Mann.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Victor Hugo

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Television Readers.

Silence of the Chickens...

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Iris Murdoch

Two Generations of Readers

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'It was a real scroller. I couldn't put down my screen.'

Books: Soon to be made into a major computer App.

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

I just reread a great book I downloaded from Amazon about five years ago. You rekindled an old relationship!

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

My Literary Influences

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Editor.

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'Is this your first book launch?'

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block