E-commerce Lover Pillows

"He said his first word - co.uk."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Gerald Ratner's return

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

Terms and conditions

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

John Lee Dotkomm palys the 'Broker's Blues

'We're e-bankrupt.'

"Advertise! Advertise! That's always been your answer for everything."

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

'I know it's the truth, but on this promo for our site, do you think we should use the promo code 'desperation?''

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

Internet Shoplifting

"When you order your dictator from Temu"