Dysfunctional Family Enthusiasts Pillows

"Instead of a bedtime story, how about strapping a bottle rocket to your doll and setting it off in your little brother’s room?" "Brad was a terrible father."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

The Family Joules: Part 16

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

I love my family!

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

'She posted her first blog today.'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

It's a Boy

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

Mother's Love

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

'They're a very successful family.'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

Family sitting on sofa.

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

Family.

A couple with a new baby

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

Production manager with lots of children.

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

'He looks a bit like both of you.'

'We're identical twins, but I'm luckier than he is!'

'I love my mum and dad!'

"Where would young families be without grandparents as unpaid childminders?"

Too young to be a grandma

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

"Mom, Dad - I'm adopted, aren't I?"