Unconventional Family Enthusiast Pillows

"Yes, son, it's true. You were adopted."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Office pics on dinner table.

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

'She posted her first blog today.'

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

I love my family!

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

It's a Boy

"I'm so good at this!"

Mother's Love

"Use your inside scream."

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'They're a very successful family.'

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"Do you have to do that even when it's not Valentine's Day?"

'I'm concerned that the children may be playing too rough.'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

"I tried being a stay-at-home dad. But I found out that being a stay-at-work dad is far less stressful."

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."