Unconventional Family Enthusiast Pillows

"Yes, son, it's true. You were adopted."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Office pics on dinner table.

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

'She posted her first blog today.'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

I love my family!

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I'm so good at this!"

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"Use your inside scream."

It's a Boy

Mother's Love

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"But Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

'They're a very successful family.'

'I'm concerned that the children may be playing too rough.'

"Do you have to do that even when it's not Valentine's Day?"

Family sitting on sofa.

World's Best Dad. I don't know. I thought they were with you. World's Best Mom.

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

"I tried being a stay-at-home dad. But I found out that being a stay-at-work dad is far less stressful."

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'