Modern Family Aficionado Pillows

"Good night, Mommy. Good night, Daddy."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

Office pics on dinner table.

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

I love my family!

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

It's a Boy

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

Mother's Love

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

'They're a very successful family.'

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"I told you this would happen once you let her sleep on the bed."

"He followed me home...finally!"

Family.

A couple with a new baby

'Hey Holly, Watch! Biscuit can catch a ginger snap in mid-air!!'

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

Production manager with lots of children.

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

Drones deliver gold, frankincense and myrrh to baby Jesus.

"Where would young families be without grandparents as unpaid childminders?"

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."