Modern Family Aficionado T-Shirts

"Good night, Mommy. Good night, Daddy."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Office pics on dinner table.

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

I love my family!

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

It's a Boy

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

Mother's Love

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

'They're a very successful family.'

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

Production manager with lots of children.

'Hey Holly, Watch! Biscuit can catch a ginger snap in mid-air!!'

"He followed me home...finally!"

"I'm resigning so I can spend more time with my wonderful family, here."

Family.

A couple with a new baby

"I told you this would happen once you let her sleep on the bed."

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

Drones deliver gold, frankincense and myrrh to baby Jesus.

"...Mom, can you get me a glass of wine?"