Modern Family Life Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Visit Absent Father Christmas' grotto.'

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"Use your inside scream."

"I'm so good at this!"

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

'Mom, can you tell me about the days before Pilates and Latte's?'

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

World's Best Dad. I don't know. I thought they were with you. World's Best Mom.

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

"I read the audio book."

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

The best time capsules are our children.

"I was raised in New York and Nancy is from L.A., but we're bringing up the children bicoastal."

"You'll find they stay pretty needy 'til about 300 months."

'Go forth and multiply!'

"If you don't stop doing that, your faces will stick that way!"

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'