Dysfunctional Family Lover Pillows

"Someday all this Corona stuff will be over, and we'll return to our normal level of dysfunctionality."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

'I didn't hear you calling. I can't listen to everybody who yells at me.'

"Instead of a bedtime story, how about strapping a bottle rocket to your doll and setting it off in your little brother’s room?" "Brad was a terrible father."

The apartment 5-J Film Festival.

Just your average family holiday portrait.

Old and young

You have to hunt a different one

Egalitarian family

"Mommy you're perfect!"

'Dear, I think the plants need watering.'

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

Later that day, little Johnny got in big trouble for playing with them.

"Honey! Come look at our little entrepreneur!"

'Should I have a baby after 35?' 'Isn't 35 children enough?'

Would you like it engraved? Yes please put to my one and only love. That way if we break up and she throws it back at me, I can use it on someone else.

'The Fly' Starts A Family.

"I thought I told you two to stop horsing around in here."

'Is something wrong, dear? -- you're home on time for dinner!'

"I told you, always support the baby's head!"

"The candy bar I bought got stuck, so Johnny tried to get it out. First he put his hand inside. . . then his arm. . . then. . ."

"He sent his first text today."

Laurel, you've got to find a hobby over the summer. You're my hubby. I said hobby. That's what I said. You said hubby. Really. Are you asking what I think you're asking? What's happening? This is so sudden.

Riverside Homes For Sale

"Oh, don't mind him. He comes here to get warmed over."

"We were out of embalming fluid so we stuffed your wife with wild rice."