Family Dynamics Fanatic Pillows

"If you're a good boy, Daddy will let you stay up until eight o'clock, when Grandma goes home."

'It wasn't the farmer. Your mother talked my head off.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

A child as a pet substitute.

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"We need to have a serious talk."

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"