Dump Devotee Gifts

'...And the hotel was an absolute dump!'

I love my Timpani

Thomas Hardy

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"What is a drag queen's goal?"

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Earnest's invite had lied about there being a live band"

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

Band alternating between whiney and angry songs.

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

One book... One book... One book...

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"Singing makes me self-conscious."

"Ready...."

"There's nothing like a dame!"

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

Highland Pipe Band Drum Major

'After a hectic day of trading, some of our traders need to decompress.'

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

School of Karate

'It was a split decision.'

"What? Tiny houses are all the rage."

Tribal man drumming a message read by an Englishman"...and finally, Middlesex are 120 for 3..."

'Shakin' bacon.'

'The problems with charities is that they are always needing donations.'

'I thought you were supposed to be a music lover!'

A criminal dances for a police officer in an attempt to delay being put into jail.

'Our email program is on the fritz again.'

Thriller of the Week