Deletion Devotee Gifts

'Delete - delete - delete.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

Let's get organized

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Be Healthy

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

"Bonk!"

"I'd call that 'A victory for science.'

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

"...And please let the merger do through!"

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

"My all-time favorite rock group? That would be The Grateful Dead."

Hire a lawyer - get one free! Limited time only.

"Hey! Green eyes!"

Decluttering. . .

Well that's me detoxed!

"Then write it up for The Journal of Surprising Discoveries."

'It's not bad enough that he explains everything... He even explains his explanations.'

"I like your slavish attention to detail."

A man working on a model airplane

'It was a split decision.'

'Don't tell me we've been following the wrong light!'

School of Karate

"How long do you think it'll take before he realizes I took his phone away?"

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

'Michael left me because of my extreme couponing...at least I think he left me.'

That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.

'...And the hotel was an absolute dump!'

"Live your life devoid of attachments."

"The following problem is not recommended for some viewers, or so our attorneys have advised us to say..."

"Do you have anywhere our friends won't have discovered?"