Dull Dinner Comedians Gifts

'Generic drugs, generic drinks, generic foods! No wonder we're boring!'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

There's a strange mist over my food. You never heard of pea soup fog?

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

"You folks like a little something?"

"Oh, don't worry about that—it only goes off when someone taps 'no tip.'"

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

"Knife...fork..."

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

Please be gentle, waiter. This is my first salad. I'm sorry, sir, but there's a reason they call it "roughage."

The Second-to-last Supper.

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

"Waiter, there are needles in my stew."

'How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?'

'Freezer is on the blink.'

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

'If it tastes just like chicken... I'd rather have chicken.'

When Barry decided to start a campaign for gum control.

'Can you recommend something good that won't look too fattening to passers-by?'

"Ryan, are you giving your vegetables to the Roomba again?"