Dual Identity Enthusiast Pillows

"There's corporate me and there's me, and, by God, we both know how to have fun."

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"Excuse me. Anyone sitting there?"

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

"I will not tolerate that language in this house. What is it,anyway - Latin?"

Colay's glass bottom boat tours!

Then laughing aloud, seeming contento, he turned like a flash and was gone el viento.

Twins

Secret Identity Theft.

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

Doctor Jekyll as a child.

"Sorry, I don't work here."

"I'll tell you my gender if you tell me yours."

'She says we never talk. But that's because she doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish.'

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"High school uniforms?! Can you imagine everyone wearing the same thing every day!"

'I think they're identical twins. But I'm not sure.'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

'... and then Peter was Mr. McGregor...'

"The president has banned the Mexican wave and replaced it with the American wave... Also, empanadas will now only use American jumping-beans."

'Oh boy, the fact that you're identical twins makes it even harder to tell you apart...'

"And then in Italy Giovanni has found his soulmate"

'He needs a domain name.'

"Which one of us is me?"

'What a coincedence! I actually have an identical twin brother who has the same name as you.' - 'No kidding? I have one who has the same name as you!'

Frankenstein "Damn it! Not another ethic origin questionaire"

Name

To: Rudy Park. From: Lemont Brown. Hey Rudy, it's me. Long time no talk. How are you these days? Lemont? From Berkeley? Tap tap tap tap. Yeah. Man … Putnam Hall 1993. Those were the days. What ever happened to our roommate Ken? Tap tap tap tap tap tap. Divided Airlines. Divided Airlines. You know, that freak who was always writing articles about "news" and junk for the school paper ... That MORON who didn't know a Gameboy from a GameGear ... That big baby whose mommy was always calling to check

'We don't hire individuals here, Mr. Hovey.'

"Being deciduous isn't a choice - it's what I am."

Millennial