Drunken Thinker T-Shirts

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

Chicken soup for the sole.

Fishbowl rebellion.

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

The drinker.

What are you doing up, mom? Big meeting tomorrow. Must be prepared. It's one a.m.! Go to bed, young lady. You need your sleep. It must be late. I heard my voice coming out of your mouth. Scary!

'I'm going to the library to study, so don't wait up.'

Mathematics.

'I know these safety meetings tend to run very late, however... '

"2 glasses of wine at lunch, I think I'm Socrates..."

Fish-losophy

"Wake up, baby. I just realized how my insomnia is all your fault."

"It's 2 A.M. Do you know where your p***s is?"

"Must you bring your work to bed?"

"I swear, Eddie, you ought to be on with Bill Moyers."

"The magical time of night when the artist awakes, not with any idea, but with the murky recollection of an idea from the previous day that was not written down and is now lost forever."

"We prefer our idea people to present their ideas during office hours."

'I think globally but I drink locally!'

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

'It depends on whether you see yourself as yesterday's man, today's man, or tomorrow's man.'

Wheel of Sleep Misfortune

'The pharmacy didn't have any sleep masks, but they had a sale on duct tape.'

Thinking about work.

Alcoholidays: Beethovens fifth.

'What I really wanted was to get drunk on power.'

He got his best marketing ideas late at night.

"His drink, the nut bowl and his bank account are all empty."