Driving School Shenanigans Gifts

Learner driver conned into being a getaway driver

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

Safe Driving.

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

"GPS wants me to stay put."

"It was a professional hit..."

'It's very nice, but it's not really me. Do you have any of those little round, hollow, plastic balls?'

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

'I can't parallel park, but I have mastered all the rude hand gestures.'

"How about a self-inflating-a-flat-tire car?"

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

"Don't cry this time, it is off putting."

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

I brake for elves.

Student to mother: 'What a day. The health teacher left school sick, the debate team got expelled for fighting, the biology teacher dissected the school mascot, and the glee club, in general, went berserk.'

"Don't be fooled. He isn't a prince and he isn't you pal!"

'They can also be used to keep an eye on the traffic around you.'

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

'Was that a red light? You should know that it is highly unethical to take liberties just because the instructor is drunk...'

"There are no targets, dear. You've been dying too many drones today."

'I don't care what you say lad.....I say he was speeding!'

'You call that teaching?'

"At the next planet I'd like you to press destroy."

Distracted Driver

"And remember, the hand position on the steering wheel is 10 & 2, 9 & 3 and 8 & 4.""

'Oh, heavens no. I was merely speaking figuratively when I said that I wanted to break every bone in his body.'

'What? -- you were picked up for reckless driving by the Coast Guard?'

"The Accelerator."

'Remember: mirror, signal, manoeuvre...'

'Mom got our cells mixed up again.'

'You would fail Mr Burns! What have you forgotten. I will give you three guesses.'

Get You Home Tow Truck.

"Is there anything I can do for extra credit, like give you money?"