Driving Etiquette Critic Gifts

"Glasses? Oh heavens no - just get super obnoxious LED lights and drive with your brights on."

'Hey, you just cut me off!'

"Great coffee, Carole."

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

Not very ladylike. Please help.

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

No Pontificating in the Bean Bag Chair

'Do you have to slurp while you eat?'

'Are you a footballer?'

"You're very courteous for a hog"

'That tut, tut sound when you park..? It's your husband.'

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

I can't find the gears!

"Can't you crunch bones with your mouth closed?"

"Darling, you're going to have to text our son to ask if he wants some potatoes."

Car sign reads: 'How's my wife's driving?'

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

"OK, gotta go...hey, why is everyone at my table singing the Hallelujah chorus?"

"May I have this dance, Miss?"

"You can't do that, Scott – this is Chicago."

Speed Bump

'Put away that damned smartphone!'

"Frequently rude drivers ahead."

"You're embarrassing yourself again Edward. If you want a bigger wine glass, just ask the waiter."

Boy Laughs At Man Who Has Fallen Down.

"Don't interrupt me when I'm texting to you!"

'Son, stay away from drug addicts - don't watch the Tour de France!'

Newly Proposed Phone Regulations.

"You look like you haven't lost weight."

'Are you back or front seat driving?'

'Margie, that rude guy who's always on his cell phone is coming through my line again!'

'GBY.' Text speak for 'God bless you.'

Driving School - "Now I want you to reverse around a corner whilst talking into your mobile phone."

Keep your feet on the floor or on the other patrons, but not on the seats,please.

"The way I see it...politics is a lot like driving a car..."