Driving Critique Expert Gifts

Car sign reads: 'How's my wife's driving?'

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

Man helping a mini learner driver

I love my motor.

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

'This is Citroen Picasso's cubist period.'

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

"You can turn your blinker off now, Senator."

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

Stone Age Driving Test

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

Student tower pulling along a student driver.

'I had to go that fast in order to keep that nut from passing me!'

I don't brake for tail gators.

"You're very courteous for a hog"

'That tut, tut sound when you park..? It's your husband.'

"Aside from the foot, do you think my parking's getting better?"

"And now I'd like you to eat a chicken and mayonnaise sandwich shile answering your mobile."

'How was my emergency stop?'

'It's green, you color-blind, flea-bitten bonehead! Where'd you learn to drive?'

For Those Who Don't Feel That Driving School Is Quite Enough, There's...Driver's University

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

"I want you to stop giving my son homework."

Discussed on Car Talk

'I want some lessons in back seat driving.'

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

"Today we're learning how to simultaneously drive and talk on the cell phone!"

"Engineers have actually found a way to fuel this car with the dignity you lose as you're driving it."

"The Motor Vehicle Department had some concerns for my safety."

" I won't ask how your first lesson went."

Insensitive driving school - 'That was crap.'

Section 21, Paragraph B: When two or more vehicles come to a stop simultaneously, the most expansive vehicle enjoys the right of way.

"So, it wasn't a typo then?!"