Car Critic Gifts

Insensitive driving school - 'That was crap.'

"I've lost the ability to make eye contact"

'This model was proudly built in the USA by Mexican workers on Chinese wages.'

'These gas prices are outrageous! Almost as expensive as bottled water!'

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

"At this point, there is a lot of pent-up demand for new cars."

'It's disgusting they're cancelling our bus service.'

Mushroom cloud from a car's exhaust pipe.

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

"Engineers have actually found a way to fuel this car with the dignity you lose as you're driving it."

"Yes, I did mention a bad driver. But I wasn't taking about our computer. I was referring to your dad."

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

The less popular 'Even Smarter Car'.

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'This is Citroen Picasso's cubist period.'

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

Sports futility vehicles

'That tut, tut sound when you park..? It's your husband.'

"I like everything about the car except it's expression."

Back seat race car drivers.

The development of cars.

Discussed on Car Talk

Huge traffic jam:Sign reads 'Debate on road pricing, next exit'.

'And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe.'

Woman going to wash partners car with wire wool.

"Monday, July 7, 1986. It is a quiet morning at Belle Aire. Slight fog. Beuford is fussing with his trailer hitch..."

Speed Bump

"With this car Mister, the girls will find you irresistible"

'Of course, you're probably concerned with mileage and the high gas prices. . .'

"You know... these speed camera shots are the only photos we have of that car."

"I agree, it's a lot of bang for the buck. And thumping, whining, clicking, clacking, clanging, grinding, buzzing and rattling."

"At last! We've finally reduced our dependency on foreign oil."

STRIP The grass is always greener on the other side

Just call me the little engine that couldn't I think we got one of those self-loathing cars. Ugh, I'm such a dim bulb. Do the front tires make me look flat?