Company Car Critic Gifts

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

Polluted geese

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

'I'm willing to go that extra mile because I have a company car.'

The less popular 'Even Smarter Car'.

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'This is Citroen Picasso's cubist period.'

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

Sports futility vehicles

'That tut, tut sound when you park..? It's your husband.'

"I like everything about the car except it's expression."

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

The development of cars.

"Engineers have actually found a way to fuel this car with the dignity you lose as you're driving it."

Clown in clown car, "Well I don't think the company car is such a perk"

Insensitive driving school - 'That was crap.'

Huge traffic jam:Sign reads 'Debate on road pricing, next exit'.

'And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe.'

"With this car Mister, the girls will find you irresistible"

Woman going to wash partners car with wire wool.

'Of course, you're probably concerned with mileage and the high gas prices. . .'

Speed Bump

"The worse thing about being fired was giving back the company car!"

Mushroom cloud from a car's exhaust pipe.

"You know... these speed camera shots are the only photos we have of that car."

"At last! We've finally reduced our dependency on foreign oil."

"And of course you get a company car!"

"It's a company car. They gave it to me right before I stopped showing up for work."

'This model was proudly built in the USA by Mexican workers on Chinese wages.'

Directions to the nearest decent motorway services.

Are you happy? Sure, great company to work for and great company car!

Hummer Hell

'It must have good gas mileage because it hasn't even been started in two decades.'