Car Care Critic Gifts

Woman going to wash partners car with wire wool.

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

The less popular 'Even Smarter Car'.

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

A 1950's Barber Shop

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

"Our smart car sent a text saying it went to the car wash to get all the winter salt off it. Did it also have to say because I was too lazy to do it?"

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"I found a really good parking place, dear, so I'm going to spend the weekend downtown shopping. . ."

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

'Now you do know she needs a bath every week and an oil change every 3000 miles?'

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

Wild Window Washers

"It's a high tech weather control device, whenever you wash it, it rains"

'Not yet! Not yet! Wait until he waxes it!'

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

"Engineers have actually found a way to fuel this car with the dignity you lose as you're driving it."

New Age Auto Repair

"If the vineyard needs rain, why don't you get the truck washed?"

Insensitive driving school - 'That was crap.'

'Don't bother rotating the tires. They rotated on their own all the way here.'

Huge traffic jam:Sign reads 'Debate on road pricing, next exit'.

'It should be changed every 3000 miles? Better change it three times, then.'