Car Care Devotee Gifts

'Don't bother rotating the tires. They rotated on their own all the way here.'

Car wash / Mouth wash

Wild Window Washers

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

A 1950's Barber Shop

"Our smart car sent a text saying it went to the car wash to get all the winter salt off it. Did it also have to say because I was too lazy to do it?"

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

'Now you do know she needs a bath every week and an oil change every 3000 miles?'

Animal Hospital

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

"It's a high tech weather control device, whenever you wash it, it rains"

Classic Car Auction: "I think I'm having an out-of -money experience."

'Not yet! Not yet! Wait until he waxes it!'

New Age Auto Repair

"Never, NEVER sit on top of the truck."

'I heard it was you who parked next to me and put a dent in my car door. Where do you want your vaporized ashes sent?'

"If the vineyard needs rain, why don't you get the truck washed?"

"I couldn't sleep."

'It should be changed every 3000 miles? Better change it three times, then.'