Car Care Devotee Pillows

'Don't bother rotating the tires. They rotated on their own all the way here.'

Car wash / Mouth wash

Wild Window Washers

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

A 1950's Barber Shop

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

"Our smart car sent a text saying it went to the car wash to get all the winter salt off it. Did it also have to say because I was too lazy to do it?"

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

Animal Hospital

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

Classic Car Auction: "I think I'm having an out-of -money experience."

"It's a high tech weather control device, whenever you wash it, it rains"

'Not yet! Not yet! Wait until he waxes it!'

"If the vineyard needs rain, why don't you get the truck washed?"

New Age Auto Repair

'I heard it was you who parked next to me and put a dent in my car door. Where do you want your vaporized ashes sent?'

"Never, NEVER sit on top of the truck."

'It should be changed every 3000 miles? Better change it three times, then.'

"I couldn't sleep."

"With the deluxe package you get a vacuum, vanilla scented interior spray freshener, carnauba wax, and enlightenment."

"The good news is it wasn't a slow leak. The bad news is I have tinnitus."