Car Maintenance Critic Gifts

Lame gift cards.

Deflator mouse

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

"It took a lot of work to build this car..."

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

'If you're not over-protective of your new SUV, then why on earth would you bring it way out here on our hunting trip?'

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

You were fixing cars in your sleep again.

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

Parts of an automobile

When did you last have your oil changed?

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

He did love tinkering on his cars.

A 1950's Barber Shop

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

"She's family."

A self-filling prophecy.